Conversations with Christopher: Nimmie Not Presents Himself

(Picking up where Christopher and Quartz left off last week with Nimmie Not materializing right in the middle of Quartz’s conversation…and Quartz’s lap. )

Quartz: Gah!

Nimmie Not: Have you missed me, my dear dwarf? (He opens his skinny arms, wiggling a bit.) Feel free to show me how much!

Quartz: Get off me!

Nimmie Not: And yet you’re not knocking me off your lap. (He twitches a pointed ear even while he waggles his eyebrows.) This shows how fond you’ve become of me!

(The little bald man in a red cap with a bell on the tip, pointed red shoes with bells on the toes, wearing a matching red tunic under a bright green vest and equally yellow stockings disappears from Quartz’s lap. He reappears standing between Quartz and Christopher, grasping an enormous book in his knobby hands.)

Nimmie Not: Christopher, Christopher, just who is this boy you’ve been spending so much time with? (He opens the book, starts turning the pages.) Ah ha, he is! Yes, Christopher is a Personage of Importance but not in our universe. Therefore his significance has no bearing on us.

Christopher: Uh, thanks, I think? Only maybe I should be worried.

Nimmie Not: Which makes me wonder what you’re doing here with him. (He gives Quartz a severe look.) Especially when he shouldn’t. He’s from a different universe, Quartz. Terrible things happen when you cross universes.

Quartz: You’re going to lecture me on what’s right and wrong? That’s a laugh. This is the fourth wall, you bloody sprite. Characters from different universes can gather here.

Nimmie Not: And just what is your purpose in gathering here?

Quartz: Can’t you see that for yourself? I’m talking to Christopher! Yes, we come from different universes, but neither of us have had much story of late.

Christopher: Actually you’ve gotten more work on your story than I have recently.

Quartz: Oh, hush. Don’t distract the scribbler when she’s paying attention to me.

Nimmie Not: Yes, don’t distract the scribbler. Don’t distract Quartz either with those pretty looks of yours.

Christopher: Huh?

Quartz: What?!

Nimmie Not: Don’t look at me like that! I know you’ve got a soft spot for delicate, slender young humans.

Quartz: She was my daughter, you idiot sprite!

Christopher: And I’m not human. Not really.

Nimmie Not: Whatever. (He shuts his book and disappears, only to reappear behind Quartz with his spindly arms around the dwarf’s neck.) I can’t help getting jealous. After all, Quartz is supposed to be my Person of Importance, my bride.

Quartz: I am not your bride!

Christopher: Whatever convinced you that Quartz was all that?

Quartz: Good point, although you could have put it differently.

Nimmie Not: I was convinced by Quartz’s presence in my magical book, of course. It lists all Persons of Importance in its pages.

Christopher: And what convinced you that Quartz was your bride?

Nimmie Not: Because I want to marry someone interesting, of course!

Quartz: That’s it? You’re saying you could have just picked anyone interesting and chosen them as your bride? That’s why?

Nimmie Not: You sound almost disappointed, my dear dwarf.

Christopher: Surely there must be other reasons for picking Quartz.

Nimmie Not: Maybe, maybe. Yet you don’t expect me to reveal them to you, do you? (He sticks his tongue out at Christopher and disappears.)

Quartz: You’ll have to forgive Nimmie Not. He’s a jealous little kobold, but he…well, actually he’s just a jealous little kobold.

Christopher: (He raises an eyebrow.) I think that’s the first time you’ve told me to forgive someone else.

Quartz: Don’t start.

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