Christopher sits facing an extremely smug, extremely self-satisfied dwarf, who smooths his beard and looking entirely too pleased with himself.
Christopher: You seem cheerful. I wasn’t sure if all that goat cassoulet wouldn’t be too rich for you and you’d get a stomach ache.
Quartz: As if my stomach was as senstitive as that scribbler’s or yours. Besides I’m in an extremely good mood.
Christopher: Nimmie Not isn’t. I had to listen to him cry last week over your cassoulet-eating ways.
Quartz: Just send someone from Tales of the Navel: The Shadow Forest over who’s shed tears over you next March. I can handle them, whomever they are. I’m feeling particularly gracious towards you right now.
Christopher: To use your own phrase…right. I know why. It’s because of April Camp NaNoWriMo, isn’t it?
Quartz: Next April’s project will be Of Cuckoo Clocks and Crystal Coffins. No more feeble excuses. The scribbler will have to spend some quality time with me and my story.
Christopher: She’ll be spending quality time with all of us. April is also when Blogging From AZ April Project: Character Change will be happening here, as well as at the Formerly Forbidden Cauldron (inspirationcauldron.blogspot.com)
Quartz: No matter. It’s my Camp time, my story time. Not yours. If the scribbler doesn’t finish Of Cuckoo Clocks and Crystal Coffins by the April, I’ll have July Camp for my story, too.
Christopher: Now just wait-
Quartz: No, I’ve waited long enough! (He gives Christopher a fierce glare.)
Christopher: (glaring right back) How long do you think Damian and I’ve been waiting? The original draft of our story was tossed out!
Quartz: You and your precious Damian are part of a series the scribbler has to save up for, so she can self-publish it. My story is only one and one that needs to be submitted to the current publishers of Fairest. Be nice. Whatever money is made off my story’s publication goes towards yours.
Christopher: Assuming your story is accepted by Nine Star Press once it’s finished.
Quartz: Why wouldn’t it be?
Christopher: What if it isn’t? You may have to wait to be self-published along with Damian and I.
Quartz: At least I’ll have my story, my finished story. I want to know what happens next, #$%!
Christopher: I can’t say I don’t sympathize with that.
Quartz: Even if the scribbler pulls one of her moments of obsessive distraction, I should get at least some story.
Christopher: That’s very true.
Quartz: I’d prefer it if she finished it and so should you. If she finishes Of Cuckoo Clocks and Crystal Coffins this April, she could work on My Tool, My Treasure this July. You won’t have to wait for NaNoWriMo.
Christopher: If she isn’t distracted by something else.
Quartz: Right. Bloody distractable scribbler. Would it kill her to pay attention to me for a month?
Christopher: I’ve often thought of the same thing. Cheer up, it could be worse. We could be Rhodry.
Quartz: Right. (He glances at the hole in the Cauldron that he and Christopher pretend most of the time not to notice.)
Rhodry: (a disembodied voice from the hole) Wrong. It’s all wrong. I’m older than either of you. I’ve been neglected for much longer.
Christopher: That’s debatable. I was born from images inspired by Depeche Mode music, along with Damian and Duessa back in the 1980s when the scribbler was a young girl in high school. You were created for a roleplaying game while she was in college.
Rhodry: Those were just our earliest conceptions. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m far more neglected than you.
Christopher: And Quartz is younger than both of us.
Quartz: Say whatever you’d like. April Camp NaNoWriMo is still mine. I’m not giving it up to you beardless boys and your stories. And if I’m younger, how come the two of you look younger than me?
Christopher: I’m a shadow.
Rhodry: While I’m Serpent Spawn.
Quartz: Right and I’m a dwarf. Which I am. No matter. My beard is better.
Christopher: You’re the only one speaking in the Cauldron who has a beard.
Quartz: Exactly. (He smooths his for emphasis.)
Christopher: I couldn’t grow one, even if I wasn’t a shadow. Before that, I was an arachnocrat. Arachnocratic boys don’t have beards.
Rhodry: I’m not sure if Serpent Spawn boys have beards or not. I’ve never met any male Serpent Spawn who had them. Not that I’ve met many. I’m still uncertain if I lack a beard because I’m Serpent Spawn or I’m just young.
Quartz: Heh, you young lads don’t know what you’re missing. A dwarf’s beard is his pride.
Christopher: I wonder if anything will happen to your beard during the events in Of Cuckoo Clocks and Crystal Coffins?
Quartz: (suddenly looking a lot less smug) Nothing will happen to my beard. The scribbler may be sadistic, but she’s not that sadistic.
Christopher: I wouldn’t be too sure of that. Look at what she did to Garnet’s beard during Fairest.
Quartz: She wouldn’t! Besides I don’t tug on my beard the way my younger brother does!
Christopher: No, but Nimmie Not might tie strands of it into elf-locks.
Nimmie Not: (who’s only a disembodied voice) Ooo, ho, what an interesting idea!
Quartz: (covering his beard and looking warily around at any spot where a cloud of yellow smoke might appear) Don’t even think it!
To read about Garnet and the fate of his beard, as well as a little f/f fairytale with elements of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty, look for Fairest within the Once Upon a Rainbow anthology, a collection of LGBTQIA+ fairytales available at…
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/once-upon-a-rainbow-volume-one-mickie-b-ashling/1127395428?ean=2940155023067
2 thoughts on “Conversations with Christopher: Quartz Gloats”
Aw I’m so glad Quartz is going to get his story worked on some more! And from my own selfish fan-girl perspective I hope you manage to get it finished and can work on My Tool My Treasure for the next camp because I adore your characters so much and just can’t wait to read their wonderful stories in full! Very best of luck for both camps! 😀 Just as a heads up, I tried clicking on the to buy links but they didn’t work? I got ‘oops that page can’t be found messages’ – I had a nose on amazon and found once upon a rainbow volumes 1 and 2 so will order 2 now as it’s on kindle and then 1 later as it’s in paperback (unless there’s a kindle version somewhere else?) – can’t wait to read them both! Hugs 😀 x
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Aww, thank you and I hope you enjoy the stories! (heart) Thank you for the heads up about the links, too. I take it it’s the Nine Star Press links that no longer work? I’m glad you could get them on Amazon. Like I said, I hope you enjoy them. Once Upon a Rainbow has some other interesting takes on fairytales I found quite intriguing as a reader, apart from being a writer whose own tale was part of the collection.
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