M is for Melyssa

Once I was Melyssa Ashelocke. I grew so tired of her, so tired of the expectations placed upon her. Tired of not being a proper arachocrat, of constantly disappointing my mother. Tired of my forbidden passion for a lady obsessed with my rebellious cousin, Damian. I walked away from it all. I found Seraphix long before any of the Followers did, oh, yes. Seraphix was our god, mine and my Sisters long before They decided to manifest once more in these talismanic, tailored forms of coins and wishes. Seraphix was the God of Balance. When our godling began regaining power in Omphalos, I offered Seraphix Their name, my memories of Their temple. In doing so, I lost some of my recollections of that time, only to gain other, more important ones. Find your center. Fight the monster within. This was what our master always taught us. Only our master betrayed her own teachings. She gave into her monster. I’m not sure what happened after that. I’m not even sure if I survived what happened. Somehow I found myself here in Omphalso with a mother, a father, or a brother. I’m certain they’re not my true relations, but for some purpose we were brought together as a family. I’m seeing faces here in Omphalos I recall, faces of my Sisters, even the face of my lost master. Once I craved to remember that time, what I’d lost, to recreate it. Only I’d like recreate myself as well. Something broke me. I could put myself back together again with Seraphix’s aid or rebuild myself better than before. All of the lost pieces are coming together. Seraphix is the key to bringing them together. Once I become one with my god, I can become my own ideal. Someone stronger than either of my mothers, stronger than the arachnocrats. Only I’m afraid of what’s emerging from this fusion, this change. I’m afraid of what she’ll be. Fear is dangerous. Doubt is dangerous, especially in the rituals we’re performing to become true Followers of Seraphix. I can’t help my doubt, though. It lingers like a poison. It doesn’t matter. I won’t let my doubts stop me. This time I’m special, one of the chosen. I won’t be a disappointment. Not again.

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