Me Me Monday: Pausania Vents

What are you staring at it with such impertience? Don’t they teach you any manners in this century on Ancient Earth? I despise it when people look at me, well, all right, I also love it. Only I’m particular about who’s doing the looking, just as I am about the company I keep. There’s a lot of poor quality out there. It’s only too easy to be dragged into it. Look at some of the scruffy individuals Phaedra finds herself with in A Symposium in Space. You shouldn’t believe the pretty picture she paints of certain old rogues anymore than you should accept with complete condemnation the harsh one she offers of me. Well, all, right, yes, I was a bit high-handed and dismissive of her feelings. In truth, I don’t dismiss them at all. I worry about Phaedra all the time. I worry about how accepting she is of others, others whom will abuse her trust. She already caught Agathea’s eye. Yes, Eryximachia, Agathea’s lover and I have a past. I’m sure that played a part in our getting an invitation to the symposium. I’m not sure if Agathea would have invited me if she hadn’t noticed I had a beautiful and vulnerable beloved. Phaedra’s innocence and optimism attract predators like Agathea’s. I fear for Phaedra at her space cluster. I fear she doesn’t understand how dangerous a place the universe can be. If she’s truly determined to explore it, I want to do what I can to protect her. To be there for her if she needs me. Not to mention I can’t help wondering what it’s like to see the universe through her wide, green eyes, filtered through her optimistic vision. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way. It may have been when I first saw Phaedra. I miss the sensation. To be honest, I’m getting as tired of complaining about everything as Phaedra is. I’m tired of being afraid of what could go wrong, all the bad things which could happen. Perhaps it’s time for a change for myself as well as Phaedra. I just hope this change works out for the both of us.

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